Adulting

For the longest I have struggled with this part. Writing this blog today does not mean that I have figured it out..! But I have had a new epiphany. Maybe its the corona I am sipping on while the sun still shines outside..!

I am a day dreamer. I wouldn’t say I was the kid who looked out of the window in school and day dreamed. In fact, I was a very attentive kid. I was alert always. But I had my day dreaming moments mostly while at home. Growing up as a 3rd kid in a family is a very pampered position to be in. My siblings and I share a wide gap in our ages which made them always care for me more than having sibling fights in my growing up phase.

I would often day dream about what I would do with the salary I would earn as a grown up. I would make elaborate plans of saving up for family. I never made any plans of spending on things . But strikingly, the 5 year plan was at play even at the age of 10–11. I always thought I would work for 5 years in a job and magically would have saved up massive amounts to leave my job and survive.

Reality hit differently, I am not known for my saving skills. I tend to live life very much in the moment. Yet, I am surprised, I executed the 5 year plan. Atleast the first part of it. Working jobs for 5 years and then quitting. Still figuring out how to do the magic..! Haha..!

At 31, I am surrounded by friends taking adulting to new levels. Creating little humans, providing for them and caring for them. Each one of this new human is super adorable and as goes my superlative measure of cuteness meter, I can eat them..!

At the same time, I am often left thinking when will I adult? But today, today I have found my answer..!

Adulting is not one size fit all. To me adulting is earning the freedom and ability to choose the experiences I want to live. I am a person who enjoys watching behind the scenes and interviews of creatives more than the actual work. Listening to Zeeshan Ayub’s interview he painted a scene of Aram Nagar, Mumbai in front of my eyes. For other drama creatives, I have often heard Prithvi Theatre make an occurence in their interviews. These experiences might be insignificant or trivial to some. To me they are the ones I want to experience. Being in those spaces, and experiencing the energy of those spaces.

I choose today to spend my afternoon in Aaram nagar and watch a show at Prithvi theatre in the evening. Today I got asked if I am bald because I act in films. I am the same person , but its the intersection with the energy of the space that made way for this curiousity from a different perspective on my baldness.

Making a choice and following through on my choice. That is adulting for me. I have been put in vulnerable corner for these vicarious choices almost as if to bring shame upon me. But I am an adult and adults don’t feel shameful for the choices they fully commit to and strongly believe in. They are definitely open to learn, pivot and evolve. But adults don’t get shamed.

Adulting, here I am, making a peace with you today..!